Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Remembering Joels
After having been a one-box-of-tissue-a-day person for two days and three nights, today I did not need to use ONE TISSUE all day! I am well! Weak as a kitten, but otherwise well. I don't even have a cough. Can't quite figure that out. Usually my colds follow a predictable pattern. They start with a sore throat, go into a stuffy head, then to a dripping nose, and finally a cough that hangs on for awhile. Probably my staying quiet and getting LOTS of sleep every night helped. Whatever worked, I'm happy to be feeling myself again.
This evening I realized that today is the tenth anniversary of my dear "heart friend and train buddy" Joel Payne's death in 1994. Joels was 35 when he died of complications from AIDS. He had one of the most beautiful smiles and singing voices I've ever seen or heard. A truly gentle man. In the spring of 1996, I invited his family and friends to help me make him a panel for the AIDS Quilt. I will never forget how it felt to see Joels' panel laid out alongside thousands of others on the green grass of the Mall that sunny autumn day in 1996. Joel--who had brought his friend Robert Womack's panel to the Mall in 1993--was so present. And finally at peace. If I ever get access to a scanner, I'll show you pictures of both Joels and his quilt panel. Until then, perhaps you can feel his spirit and life in the painting I did today that I'm calling, "Spirals For Joel."
I also painted one that I call "November's End." I had a lot of fun adding background color to this painting by using my Photo-Shop software. Why not play around with both acrylic inks and computer graphics? I suspect this is just the beginning...
This evening I realized that today is the tenth anniversary of my dear "heart friend and train buddy" Joel Payne's death in 1994. Joels was 35 when he died of complications from AIDS. He had one of the most beautiful smiles and singing voices I've ever seen or heard. A truly gentle man. In the spring of 1996, I invited his family and friends to help me make him a panel for the AIDS Quilt. I will never forget how it felt to see Joels' panel laid out alongside thousands of others on the green grass of the Mall that sunny autumn day in 1996. Joel--who had brought his friend Robert Womack's panel to the Mall in 1993--was so present. And finally at peace. If I ever get access to a scanner, I'll show you pictures of both Joels and his quilt panel. Until then, perhaps you can feel his spirit and life in the painting I did today that I'm calling, "Spirals For Joel."
I also painted one that I call "November's End." I had a lot of fun adding background color to this painting by using my Photo-Shop software. Why not play around with both acrylic inks and computer graphics? I suspect this is just the beginning...
Monday, November 29, 2004
My friends were great!
I just watched two of my friends--Pat Noonan from Windsor and Peggy Case from Michigan--speak on a special segment of CBC-TV's "The National" nightly news program. They were superb! Pat talked about her friends from the States who share her values, are also upset at Bush's win, but are committed to follow what she called "their American Dream" and continue to work for justice within their nation. Peggy spoke with clear-minded passion about the difference between American and Canadian values being that Canadians are not empire-builders like their American counterparts. She also told of her disappointment in Bush winning the election, but said that, even though she gets tired after all these years of working for justice, she will stay and keep fighting for what she believes in.
The program was not as we had imagined it would be. Instead of providing an opportunity for dialogue between Windsor and Detroit-based Canadians and Americans, there were time-consuming taped and live segments telling the stories of people from other parts of both the US and Canada. The main thrust seemed to be the decision of some Americans to emigrate to Canada as a result of George W. Bush having won another term as president. The speakers in the Windsor audience were apparently chosen ahead of time and told when they would speak. Then they were supposed to respond to the stories that had just been aired.
Many of our friends were in the audience but were not on the list of speakers. Peggy said they had a chair with my name on it, so I guess I would have been a member of the audience but that doesn't mean I would have been asked to speak. Unfortunately, a number of right-wing Michigan folks were allowed to speak. I was embarrassed for my country, especially when the first American speaker ended his unpleasant response to a man in Seattle who was in the process of moving his family to Nelson, BC, by saying, "Good riddance!" Just what Canadians, who already wonder how their neighbours to the south could re-elect Bush, need to hear.
But, as I say, Pat and Peggy did us proud.
The program was not as we had imagined it would be. Instead of providing an opportunity for dialogue between Windsor and Detroit-based Canadians and Americans, there were time-consuming taped and live segments telling the stories of people from other parts of both the US and Canada. The main thrust seemed to be the decision of some Americans to emigrate to Canada as a result of George W. Bush having won another term as president. The speakers in the Windsor audience were apparently chosen ahead of time and told when they would speak. Then they were supposed to respond to the stories that had just been aired.
Many of our friends were in the audience but were not on the list of speakers. Peggy said they had a chair with my name on it, so I guess I would have been a member of the audience but that doesn't mean I would have been asked to speak. Unfortunately, a number of right-wing Michigan folks were allowed to speak. I was embarrassed for my country, especially when the first American speaker ended his unpleasant response to a man in Seattle who was in the process of moving his family to Nelson, BC, by saying, "Good riddance!" Just what Canadians, who already wonder how their neighbours to the south could re-elect Bush, need to hear.
But, as I say, Pat and Peggy did us proud.
"The National" tonight
I'm afraid I won't be in Windsor at this evening's taping of "The National." My cold has won over my desire to share my views on Canadian-American Relations. But if you live in Canada or a border state in the US (or want to check it out online), you can tune into CBC-TV at 10 PM tonight and listen to what folks in Windsor and Detroit have to say about this most timely subject. Timely because George W. Bush will be in Ottawa and Halifax on Tuesday and Wednesday trying to mend fences. By the way, they are expecting LOTS of opposition to his visit by protesters out on the streets. Canadians are not real fond of George and they are ready to let him know it. Of course, if Bush is kept encased in his usual protective bubble, it's unlikely he'll know anyone is out on the streets, much less protesting. Makes me think of the "Hear no evil, Speak no evil, See no evil" monkeys. If I don't see, hear or speak of something, it does not exist. What a sad--and dangerous--way for a person of power to live in today's world.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Knee-jerk generalizations
In response to my asking for readers' perspectives on the differences between Canadians and Americans, I received the following message:
Hello.
I've read some of your journal over time. Admire your energy and dedication.
Gotta say I'm thinking that, from what I've read of your journal, you're kinda predictable in finding fault with the U.S at every turn. (Goddess only knows that there are indeed severe and terrible issues and messes under this administration in these times we are in...miserable). But your knee-jerk generalizations about American fault in just about everything big (war..all U.S. responsibility...have you ever talked about human loss in this country (from 9/11 on...civilians, soldiers, their families and friends..except for your concern about the safety of your own niece in N.Y. that gruesome day.) or small...including such generalizations as Canadians are just gentler and nicer and more level-headed etc.than Americans, What do you love about the U.S. Anything at all? Ah well...had to just say it.
I do truly think you are quite a terrific woman.. I mean it..Well, you asked for thoughts!
Peace.
AL
I'm afraid I have to plead guilty to AL's observation that I fall into the trap of offering "knee-jerk generalizations about American fault in just about everything big...or small..." I DO have a tendency to see things in black or white rather than shades of gray. And I am much more likely to identify with non-Americans than Americans, especially when it comes to war and suffering. Actually, I am always on the side of weak rather than the strong, even when the strong suffers as America did on September 11th.
I wonder why that is?
When I look back on my life, I see a pattern of siding with the "underdog" or marginalized in almost every situation. As a youngster in school I can remember being terribly disturbed when my friends would make fun of someone who was not considered "cool." Then in young adulthood it was not the successful that I wanted to work with but rather those who struggled to survive. That was what brought me into a study of social work. And over the decades since then, my attention and concern has consistently been with those individuals and groups of people who were being marginalized by society: refugees from around the world; the African American community here in Detroit, especially the children; gays/lesbians/bisexuals/transgender folks who were my closest friends during my six winters in San Francisco; and, since 9/11, the Arab Muslim community in Dearborn and Ann Arbor.
Yes, when I think about this current war on and occupation of Iraq, I think more of the innocent civilians who have lost their lives--an estimated 100,000 according to the UN--than of our American troops--1210 dead as of November 16. Now, part of that is that military men and women are doing their "job"--as onerous a job as that might be--whereas civilians are simply trying to survive the war and chaos around them. Certainly some of these civilians have weapons and are fighting back, but they do not have the power or support of a huge military machine behind them like our U.S. soldiers do.
I must say here that I am a total and complete pacifist. I believe there is NO proper place or time or reason to go to war. That may sound unrealistic in light of today's threats and dangers, but it is core to who I am. I believe we humans are resilient and imaginative enough to find other ways than violent ones to resolve our conflicts, whether they be personal, local, national or international. Non-violent resisters like Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony, and Vandana Shiva are my models. These individuals have led non-violent movements against injustice--injustice often enforced by violent means--and in doing so, did not become like their oppressors. Too often we fight oppression using the oppressors' tools and in so doing, become like them in the end.
Maybe part of my need to give the non-American side of things is that I feel the American side is being seen and heard almost exclusively on TV, radio and in the print news. As far as I can tell, our current media offers its own knee-jerk generalizations about American "right and might," much of which is quoted directly from statements made by members of the Bush administration. When you have government leaders who refuse to reflect on any of their past actions, you have the makings of a totalitarian state.
There I go again.
AL asks if there is anything I love about the U.S. Yes there is. I love our "can do" spirit, our openness and directness, our welcoming ways, our tender hearts, our generosity, our idealism, our inventiveness, and our courage. As I write this, I am aware that in the climate of fear and arrogance encouraged and modeled by our current president and his staff, Americans have lost some of their most refreshing qualities. Be that as it may, Bush will not be in office forever and I believe the people of this country will re-find themselves and their innate goodness once their fears subside.
I thank AL for her/his honest and helpful observations. I don't know how much I'll be able to change how I present things, but at least now I'll be more aware of the one-sidedness of my views. I've just edited the description posted at the top of this blog to better reflect what readers will find here. It now says:
A woman artist/activist/writer's creative--often to the left of mainstream--responses to world events, disability and life."
If you have a bias, admit it.
Hello.
I've read some of your journal over time. Admire your energy and dedication.
Gotta say I'm thinking that, from what I've read of your journal, you're kinda predictable in finding fault with the U.S at every turn. (Goddess only knows that there are indeed severe and terrible issues and messes under this administration in these times we are in...miserable). But your knee-jerk generalizations about American fault in just about everything big (war..all U.S. responsibility...have you ever talked about human loss in this country (from 9/11 on...civilians, soldiers, their families and friends..except for your concern about the safety of your own niece in N.Y. that gruesome day.) or small...including such generalizations as Canadians are just gentler and nicer and more level-headed etc.than Americans, What do you love about the U.S. Anything at all? Ah well...had to just say it.
I do truly think you are quite a terrific woman.. I mean it..Well, you asked for thoughts!
Peace.
AL
I'm afraid I have to plead guilty to AL's observation that I fall into the trap of offering "knee-jerk generalizations about American fault in just about everything big...or small..." I DO have a tendency to see things in black or white rather than shades of gray. And I am much more likely to identify with non-Americans than Americans, especially when it comes to war and suffering. Actually, I am always on the side of weak rather than the strong, even when the strong suffers as America did on September 11th.
I wonder why that is?
When I look back on my life, I see a pattern of siding with the "underdog" or marginalized in almost every situation. As a youngster in school I can remember being terribly disturbed when my friends would make fun of someone who was not considered "cool." Then in young adulthood it was not the successful that I wanted to work with but rather those who struggled to survive. That was what brought me into a study of social work. And over the decades since then, my attention and concern has consistently been with those individuals and groups of people who were being marginalized by society: refugees from around the world; the African American community here in Detroit, especially the children; gays/lesbians/bisexuals/transgender folks who were my closest friends during my six winters in San Francisco; and, since 9/11, the Arab Muslim community in Dearborn and Ann Arbor.
Yes, when I think about this current war on and occupation of Iraq, I think more of the innocent civilians who have lost their lives--an estimated 100,000 according to the UN--than of our American troops--1210 dead as of November 16. Now, part of that is that military men and women are doing their "job"--as onerous a job as that might be--whereas civilians are simply trying to survive the war and chaos around them. Certainly some of these civilians have weapons and are fighting back, but they do not have the power or support of a huge military machine behind them like our U.S. soldiers do.
I must say here that I am a total and complete pacifist. I believe there is NO proper place or time or reason to go to war. That may sound unrealistic in light of today's threats and dangers, but it is core to who I am. I believe we humans are resilient and imaginative enough to find other ways than violent ones to resolve our conflicts, whether they be personal, local, national or international. Non-violent resisters like Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony, and Vandana Shiva are my models. These individuals have led non-violent movements against injustice--injustice often enforced by violent means--and in doing so, did not become like their oppressors. Too often we fight oppression using the oppressors' tools and in so doing, become like them in the end.
Maybe part of my need to give the non-American side of things is that I feel the American side is being seen and heard almost exclusively on TV, radio and in the print news. As far as I can tell, our current media offers its own knee-jerk generalizations about American "right and might," much of which is quoted directly from statements made by members of the Bush administration. When you have government leaders who refuse to reflect on any of their past actions, you have the makings of a totalitarian state.
There I go again.
AL asks if there is anything I love about the U.S. Yes there is. I love our "can do" spirit, our openness and directness, our welcoming ways, our tender hearts, our generosity, our idealism, our inventiveness, and our courage. As I write this, I am aware that in the climate of fear and arrogance encouraged and modeled by our current president and his staff, Americans have lost some of their most refreshing qualities. Be that as it may, Bush will not be in office forever and I believe the people of this country will re-find themselves and their innate goodness once their fears subside.
I thank AL for her/his honest and helpful observations. I don't know how much I'll be able to change how I present things, but at least now I'll be more aware of the one-sidedness of my views. I've just edited the description posted at the top of this blog to better reflect what readers will find here. It now says:
A woman artist/activist/writer's creative--often to the left of mainstream--responses to world events, disability and life."
If you have a bias, admit it.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Friends
Good friends are such a gift. Our friend Pat Kolon just left for home after having been with us since yesterday afternoon. If you recall, she lives and works at a Catholic Worker transitional home for women and children in Detroit, so being at our house for a day or two is something she enjoys. And so do we! Pat is the easiest house guest imaginable. She knows our house as well as her own, so is able to take care of her own needs. To be honest, she takes care of ours too.
Pat is an exceptional cook, so for two days Eddie and I have feasted on the most delicious vegetarian food. Yesterday afternoon she cut my toenails for me, a task I've needed help with for the past couple of years. Then this afternoon she cleaned and organized our food cabinets! While looking to see if we had rice and curry powder, she found LOTS of things we didn't need anymore, like catbox deodorizer. Tyllie, our cat, has been dead for at least eight years. Since I haven't cooked in years, I didn't have a clue what was in there. How great to have a friend who thinks it's fun to organize the disorganized!
And now I'm going to bed. A rip-snortin' cold appeared today and I'm dripping like a faucet. I'll be taking my box of tissues to bed with me.
Pat is an exceptional cook, so for two days Eddie and I have feasted on the most delicious vegetarian food. Yesterday afternoon she cut my toenails for me, a task I've needed help with for the past couple of years. Then this afternoon she cleaned and organized our food cabinets! While looking to see if we had rice and curry powder, she found LOTS of things we didn't need anymore, like catbox deodorizer. Tyllie, our cat, has been dead for at least eight years. Since I haven't cooked in years, I didn't have a clue what was in there. How great to have a friend who thinks it's fun to organize the disorganized!
And now I'm going to bed. A rip-snortin' cold appeared today and I'm dripping like a faucet. I'll be taking my box of tissues to bed with me.
Friday, November 26, 2004
"How are Canadians and Americans different?"
Tsering Sergong of CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Company) in Toronto asked me this question during a phone conversation this morning. We were talking about my participation in a CBC Town Hall with Peter Mansbridge of "The National" to be held in Windsor this coming Monday, November 29. The topic of the show is Canadian-American Relations.
Although Tsering stressed that the discussion would be more ideological than political, I can't help but think the timing has something to do with George W. Bush being re-elected and last week's enactment of a new policy that "alien Canadians"--those persons who have retained their Canadian citizenship even though they make their homes in the United States--will be photographed and fingerprinted every time they cross the Windsor/Detroit border and want to return to the States. She did mention that there's been talk of Americans wanting to emigrate to Canada since the election. My guess is that politics will certainly come into Monday's discussion. How could it not?
4 PM
I just got off the phone after a nice long talk with Rabih in Lebanon. It had been way too long since we'd talked.
Rabih's busy with his consulting business and has a couple of new ideas for other work-related projects he wants to explore. Sulaima is healthy and busy after having given birth to Ibrahim, their fourth son (and fifth child) last May. Sani, Sami and Rami are still adjusting to the changes between their lives in Ann Arbor and Beirut, but things are picking up, especially for the boys. Ousama, who is five, seems to feel at home wherever he is. But the bright star in their midst is this precious baby, Ibrahim, whom Rabih says everyone in the family lines up to play with. He has just started pushing himself up on his hands and giggling out loud. And whenever any of them speaks to him, little Ibrahim will look right at them and respond. Rabih says his mother positively melts around the baby!
Of course we talked about the election, but we didn't belabor it. Rabih knows better than anyone what it means to have the Bush administration in office for another four years. Read My Brother Rabih Haddad if you don't already know his story. As always, I came away feeling full of hope after talking to this gentle-spirited humanitarian. Our world is blessed by his presence.
11 PM
After having lived in this border city for 39 years, I do have my own perspective on Canadian-American relations, a perspective born of experience. Except for my friend Lenore, I don't know any other Americans who have spent as much time or have felt as comfortable going back and forth to Windsor as I. I know the layout of that city as well as I know Detroit. And my activities there have bridged many different worlds: dancers and artists, refugees from around the world anxious to gain asylum in Canada, peace and anti-corporate globalization activists, politically-aware university students, women who sing and work together for Gaia (the earth), and individuals who have become lifelong friends. In my opinion, Detroit's proximity to Windsor is among its greatest assets.
So do I feel Canadians and Americans are different? And if so, in what ways?
Generalizations are always dangerous, but I'm going to make them anyway. Yes, I DO believe there are differences between the peoples of these two neighboring countries. I have found Canadians to be more gentle-spirited, community-oriented, comfortable with diversity and less aggressive than Americans. These qualities manifest themselves not only in individuals but in government policies. Unfortunately, in recent years we've been seeing more and more Americanization of Canadian government, due in large part to trade and economic concerns relating to their powerful neighbor. It's hard living next door to the biggest bully on the block.
When I shared some of my thoughts with Tsering, she asked, "Where do you think these differences come from?"
For years I've tried to answer this question for myself. I mean, why is it that every time I pass from the United States into Canada, whether by bridge or by tunnel, I feel I can breathe easier? I don't think it's merely that no handguns are allowed in Canada. It's deeper than that. After much reflection, I find myself going back to the origins of the two countries.
We here in America felt we had to rupture our relationship with England, the home of our first non-indigenous settlers, in a violent war. The Canadians, on the other hand, managed to find their own identity while keeping close ties with their mother country. With a history like the Americans, it makes sense for our people to put great value on rugged individualism and standing up for yourself, violently if necessary. Whereas, in their long history Canadians have learned how to mediate differences and still retain a sense of self.
I'd LOVE to know what you, my readers, think.
Although Tsering stressed that the discussion would be more ideological than political, I can't help but think the timing has something to do with George W. Bush being re-elected and last week's enactment of a new policy that "alien Canadians"--those persons who have retained their Canadian citizenship even though they make their homes in the United States--will be photographed and fingerprinted every time they cross the Windsor/Detroit border and want to return to the States. She did mention that there's been talk of Americans wanting to emigrate to Canada since the election. My guess is that politics will certainly come into Monday's discussion. How could it not?
4 PM
I just got off the phone after a nice long talk with Rabih in Lebanon. It had been way too long since we'd talked.
Rabih's busy with his consulting business and has a couple of new ideas for other work-related projects he wants to explore. Sulaima is healthy and busy after having given birth to Ibrahim, their fourth son (and fifth child) last May. Sani, Sami and Rami are still adjusting to the changes between their lives in Ann Arbor and Beirut, but things are picking up, especially for the boys. Ousama, who is five, seems to feel at home wherever he is. But the bright star in their midst is this precious baby, Ibrahim, whom Rabih says everyone in the family lines up to play with. He has just started pushing himself up on his hands and giggling out loud. And whenever any of them speaks to him, little Ibrahim will look right at them and respond. Rabih says his mother positively melts around the baby!
Of course we talked about the election, but we didn't belabor it. Rabih knows better than anyone what it means to have the Bush administration in office for another four years. Read My Brother Rabih Haddad if you don't already know his story. As always, I came away feeling full of hope after talking to this gentle-spirited humanitarian. Our world is blessed by his presence.
11 PM
After having lived in this border city for 39 years, I do have my own perspective on Canadian-American relations, a perspective born of experience. Except for my friend Lenore, I don't know any other Americans who have spent as much time or have felt as comfortable going back and forth to Windsor as I. I know the layout of that city as well as I know Detroit. And my activities there have bridged many different worlds: dancers and artists, refugees from around the world anxious to gain asylum in Canada, peace and anti-corporate globalization activists, politically-aware university students, women who sing and work together for Gaia (the earth), and individuals who have become lifelong friends. In my opinion, Detroit's proximity to Windsor is among its greatest assets.
So do I feel Canadians and Americans are different? And if so, in what ways?
Generalizations are always dangerous, but I'm going to make them anyway. Yes, I DO believe there are differences between the peoples of these two neighboring countries. I have found Canadians to be more gentle-spirited, community-oriented, comfortable with diversity and less aggressive than Americans. These qualities manifest themselves not only in individuals but in government policies. Unfortunately, in recent years we've been seeing more and more Americanization of Canadian government, due in large part to trade and economic concerns relating to their powerful neighbor. It's hard living next door to the biggest bully on the block.
When I shared some of my thoughts with Tsering, she asked, "Where do you think these differences come from?"
For years I've tried to answer this question for myself. I mean, why is it that every time I pass from the United States into Canada, whether by bridge or by tunnel, I feel I can breathe easier? I don't think it's merely that no handguns are allowed in Canada. It's deeper than that. After much reflection, I find myself going back to the origins of the two countries.
We here in America felt we had to rupture our relationship with England, the home of our first non-indigenous settlers, in a violent war. The Canadians, on the other hand, managed to find their own identity while keeping close ties with their mother country. With a history like the Americans, it makes sense for our people to put great value on rugged individualism and standing up for yourself, violently if necessary. Whereas, in their long history Canadians have learned how to mediate differences and still retain a sense of self.
I'd LOVE to know what you, my readers, think.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Hope
I have decided to fast instead of feast today. It's the least I can do for the people of Iraq. Not that Ed and I had big plans for Thanksgiving but it's the thought that counts.
"How to find hope when hope is hard to find."
That phrase from a song of Carolyn McDade's has been with me all morning. It resonates with a comment posted recently on my blog by a reader who calls her/himself Anonymous. S/He wrote:
Thank you for your blog. Every day I get more down with the world, and I'm constantly amazed by your ability to stay up and active. My activism continues but my mood diminishes.
Yes, these are hard times for persons of conscience, persons willing to look beyond the patriotic rhetoric and deceptive spins to see the truth of what is being done in our name around the world. The untold pain and suffering we are bringing to members of our human family. The intentional and unthinking destruction we bring to species of plants and animals, the air, the land, the water. Our unchecked assumption that protecting American lives and our lifestyle gives us the right to kill others and take way more than our fair share of the planet's natural resources.
And now we look toward four more years with a leader who epitomizes all these earth- and life-threatening assumptions. And who, we know from past experience, acts upon them with little regard for the will of the people.
How to find hope when hope is hard to find?
For me, the answer comes in the very act of resisting: the decision to get out on the streets with my sisters and brothers on rainy nights and frigid days, the community of thinking/feeling/dedicated persons I find at my side, young and old, black/white/Asian/Arab, rich and poor, housed and homeless. When we are out there together as one, saying loud "NOs" to the wars and destruction being done in our names, then I know hope.
Hope is not success; it is going ahead as if success is possible even when you know your efforts are unlikely to make any difference. Hope can seem foolish, but it is what keeps people going when the reality is too harsh to contemplate. Hope cries "I have a dream" when living a present-day nightmare. Hope believes in the impossible. Hope knows change is all there is.
So on this day when my American sisters and brothers are freezing their tails (in the northern states) at Thanksgiving Day parades, feasting on turkey and watching football games on TV, I sit here at my computer looking out over the snow-brushed roof of my neighbor's house, over trees suddenly bare, into a cardinal's eyes bright against the blue sky, and I feel full of hope.
May hope and its companion, action, sit at the table with you and your family and friends as you celebrate this day of Thanksgiving.
"How to find hope when hope is hard to find."
That phrase from a song of Carolyn McDade's has been with me all morning. It resonates with a comment posted recently on my blog by a reader who calls her/himself Anonymous. S/He wrote:
Thank you for your blog. Every day I get more down with the world, and I'm constantly amazed by your ability to stay up and active. My activism continues but my mood diminishes.
Yes, these are hard times for persons of conscience, persons willing to look beyond the patriotic rhetoric and deceptive spins to see the truth of what is being done in our name around the world. The untold pain and suffering we are bringing to members of our human family. The intentional and unthinking destruction we bring to species of plants and animals, the air, the land, the water. Our unchecked assumption that protecting American lives and our lifestyle gives us the right to kill others and take way more than our fair share of the planet's natural resources.
And now we look toward four more years with a leader who epitomizes all these earth- and life-threatening assumptions. And who, we know from past experience, acts upon them with little regard for the will of the people.
How to find hope when hope is hard to find?
For me, the answer comes in the very act of resisting: the decision to get out on the streets with my sisters and brothers on rainy nights and frigid days, the community of thinking/feeling/dedicated persons I find at my side, young and old, black/white/Asian/Arab, rich and poor, housed and homeless. When we are out there together as one, saying loud "NOs" to the wars and destruction being done in our names, then I know hope.
Hope is not success; it is going ahead as if success is possible even when you know your efforts are unlikely to make any difference. Hope can seem foolish, but it is what keeps people going when the reality is too harsh to contemplate. Hope cries "I have a dream" when living a present-day nightmare. Hope believes in the impossible. Hope knows change is all there is.
So on this day when my American sisters and brothers are freezing their tails (in the northern states) at Thanksgiving Day parades, feasting on turkey and watching football games on TV, I sit here at my computer looking out over the snow-brushed roof of my neighbor's house, over trees suddenly bare, into a cardinal's eyes bright against the blue sky, and I feel full of hope.
May hope and its companion, action, sit at the table with you and your family and friends as you celebrate this day of Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
What a difference two days can make!
When I came home from school this afternoon, I saw that Monday's golden-leaved trees were now bare. And instead of its autumn hues of blue and green, the whipped-up lake had turned muddy-brown with angry-looking waves crashing against the breakwall. After dinner, beep-beep, beep-beeps and yellow flashing lights signaled the salt truck's first appearance of the season. And Ed, who normally gets so warm on his after-dinner walks that he takes off his jacket or sweater, came home tonight looking like an Arctic explorer.
Winter has come to Michigan. By 7 PM, the pelting rain that had begun during the night and had kept up for much of the day, turned into sleet which then became wet snow. Now it seems to have settled into cold slush.
Happily, we have no place we have to go and no obligations to meet. Having heard the forecast of pretty unpleasant conditions for the next few days, I stopped at the library on the way home from school and loaded up on rented videos and good books to read. And Eddie's happy with his Thanksgiving gift of Josef's dark chocolate and raspberry cake that I bought and gave to him yesterday.
May my American readers enjoy your Thanksgiving as much as Ed and I already are.
Winter has come to Michigan. By 7 PM, the pelting rain that had begun during the night and had kept up for much of the day, turned into sleet which then became wet snow. Now it seems to have settled into cold slush.
Happily, we have no place we have to go and no obligations to meet. Having heard the forecast of pretty unpleasant conditions for the next few days, I stopped at the library on the way home from school and loaded up on rented videos and good books to read. And Eddie's happy with his Thanksgiving gift of Josef's dark chocolate and raspberry cake that I bought and gave to him yesterday.
May my American readers enjoy your Thanksgiving as much as Ed and I already are.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
An enduring assignment
This morning I realized that I'd actually started keeping this daily journal forty-four years ago.
Dr. Mary Lynch Johnson's traditional assignment for freshman English classes at Meredith College was for her students to write and hand in a 500-word essay every day that her class met during the first semester, or three essays a week for fifteen weeks. This was in addition to all the other assignments she piled on us unprepared 18 year-olds. When we asked what she wanted us to write about, she said, "Whatever's going on in your life. What you see, hear and feel."
That was when I started to notice and try to find words to describe the ordinary stuff of life.
So when I look at my daily commitment to keeping an online journal for the past 57 months (five years in February), I see Dr. Johnson's hand in it. Dr. Johnson with her wispy gray hair escaping untidily from her bun, her penetrating blue eyes shining from behind her rimless eyeglasses, her lispy Southern voice reading Shakespeare's sonnets aloud as if they were love notes addressed to her, her marching any student caught chewing gum up to the wastepaper basket beside her desk to spit it out, her cautionary words about the dangers of using any of the three cuts allowed and my learning the hard way that she was right (I missed the only class where she taught us how to parse poetry), her sending me a sixpence to put in my shoe when I married six years later. (Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue...and a sixpence in her shoe.)
I will not forget Dr. Mary Lynch Johnson.
Dr. Mary Lynch Johnson's traditional assignment for freshman English classes at Meredith College was for her students to write and hand in a 500-word essay every day that her class met during the first semester, or three essays a week for fifteen weeks. This was in addition to all the other assignments she piled on us unprepared 18 year-olds. When we asked what she wanted us to write about, she said, "Whatever's going on in your life. What you see, hear and feel."
That was when I started to notice and try to find words to describe the ordinary stuff of life.
So when I look at my daily commitment to keeping an online journal for the past 57 months (five years in February), I see Dr. Johnson's hand in it. Dr. Johnson with her wispy gray hair escaping untidily from her bun, her penetrating blue eyes shining from behind her rimless eyeglasses, her lispy Southern voice reading Shakespeare's sonnets aloud as if they were love notes addressed to her, her marching any student caught chewing gum up to the wastepaper basket beside her desk to spit it out, her cautionary words about the dangers of using any of the three cuts allowed and my learning the hard way that she was right (I missed the only class where she taught us how to parse poetry), her sending me a sixpence to put in my shoe when I married six years later. (Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue...and a sixpence in her shoe.)
I will not forget Dr. Mary Lynch Johnson.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Colour
I so much prefer the Canadian and British spelling of this word: it rolls off your tongue with a sensuousness befitting rich reds, outrageous oranges, cool blues, regal purples, dazzling yellows and luscious greens. The American color is too abrupt. It doesn't give your eyes and ears time to take in the wonders being addressed.
Today I let colour have its way with me, not only in my paintings (photos #1 & #2) but on my late afternoon scoot (photos #1 & #2). I gave into its irresistible embrace and left my inhibitions behind. Pure colour seduces, inspires, soothes and excites. If it weren't for colour, I wouldn't paint. Yes, I've worked in black and white at different times in my life, but generally when I was trying to figure things out. My Word Art pen-and-ink drawings come to mind, as do the Sacred Stones. In both cases, the art was in the service of a message.
But now? I have no message beyond utter delight in the making. During these days when simply reading the news can take more fortitude than I have available, colour is my ally and friend. It never disappoints or demands more than I can give. Ah ha! So that's why I pink my hair.
Funny how writing this blog answers questions I don't even think to ask.
Today I let colour have its way with me, not only in my paintings (photos #1 & #2) but on my late afternoon scoot (photos #1 & #2). I gave into its irresistible embrace and left my inhibitions behind. Pure colour seduces, inspires, soothes and excites. If it weren't for colour, I wouldn't paint. Yes, I've worked in black and white at different times in my life, but generally when I was trying to figure things out. My Word Art pen-and-ink drawings come to mind, as do the Sacred Stones. In both cases, the art was in the service of a message.
But now? I have no message beyond utter delight in the making. During these days when simply reading the news can take more fortitude than I have available, colour is my ally and friend. It never disappoints or demands more than I can give. Ah ha! So that's why I pink my hair.
Funny how writing this blog answers questions I don't even think to ask.
Apologies Accepted
After posting information last night about the web site Sorry Everybody, I discovered there is another web site that sprang up in response. It is called Apologies Accepted, and was put up by computer nerds in the Netherlands for the world's people to let us sorry Americans know they appreciate our apologies. On its third day in operation, "Apologies Accepted" had a million hits!
Isn't this internet world amazing??!!
Isn't this internet world amazing??!!
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Divided We Stand; United We Fall
On November 3 John Kerry urged the American people to heal their wounds and come together for the next four years. Considering this was his concession speech, it was implied that he meant for us to come together under the newly re-elected president, George W. Bush.
I have disagreed with John Kerry over many of his policy positions, but never more vehemently than over this one.
The last thing our country, world and planet needs now is for the 49% of the American people who voted to get Bush out of power to give up our opposition and join hands with the 51% who gave him four more years. No, we need every single solitary non-Bush voter to stand firm and fight every decision that comes out of this neo-conservative, Christian fundamentalist, imperialistic, warmongering, Ariel Sharon-supporting, Arab Muslim-hating, repressive, homophobic, anti-choice, anti-immigrant, corporate-ruled, environmentally-destructive White House.
It is the time to fight not unite.
When I go swim laps every Monday and Wednesday night, I must scoot down the halls of our local middle school where American flags fly and large signs are posted that decree in red-white-and blue letters, "United we stand; divided we fall." It is all I can do to keep from tearing them down. Last week there were also student-made posters decrying cloning because "God is the only one allowed to create life." Now I'm not a fan of cloning, but it concerns me greatly when public schools in this country have religious messages posted in their halls. School prayer--as in Christian prayer--is not far behind.
Whatever happened to separation of church and state? Wasn't religious intolerance one of the main reasons the pilgrims left England? And didn't our founding fathers insist on an America where state and religion would be forever separate? During Bush's second term you can be sure that separation will be totally erased.
These are scary times, times when DISSENT is needed more than ever before. Believe me, George W. Bush is doing his level best to purge his government not only of dissenters but of questioners. In a George W. Bush-run world, no one questions their Leader-In-Chief. He is more infallible than the Pope. And, as we have seen, he refuses to reflect on past decisions or consider the possiblity that he and his people might have made any mistakes.
He reminds me the most immature of our four graders.
But just because the president of our country is immature doesn't mean we must be. No, we must be more mature and clear-headed than ever. We must escalate our efforts to mobilize community opposition to the abuses being wrought by our government and military leaders. Like we wish the German people had done under Hitler, we must be willing to put ourselves at risk of censure and arrest as we stand firm for the principles upon which our nation was built.
If 51% of the country's voters choose to keep their heads in the sand or even cheer on the dangerous tactics of their leader, let them. We 49% can make George W. Bush's second term a time of true democratic revolt if we work together with intentionality, using non-violent means to create change.
But first we need to apologize to our global sisters and brothers for our failure to turn this monster regime out of office on November 2. And that's where our inspired and inspiring young people come in.
A number of self-identified computer nerds have created a marvelous web site called "Sorry Everybody." On this site are an ever-growing number of digital photos sent in by ordinary Americans who want to offer their apologies to the world community for what happened here on November 2. The loving responses posted by women and men from across the globe is enough to bring tears to the eyes of even the most cynical among us.
Last night I stayed up until 3:30 AM looking at dozens and dozens of these photos. I even submitted one of my own. When you get to the home page of Sorry Everybody, simply click on the photo to enter the gallery, from there you'll have access to 1000s of photos. Click on whichever thumbnail photo you want to see in a larger format. If your response is anything like mine, the messages shared on this site will soothe your post-11/2 feelings, and help you see that you are not alone.
I have disagreed with John Kerry over many of his policy positions, but never more vehemently than over this one.
The last thing our country, world and planet needs now is for the 49% of the American people who voted to get Bush out of power to give up our opposition and join hands with the 51% who gave him four more years. No, we need every single solitary non-Bush voter to stand firm and fight every decision that comes out of this neo-conservative, Christian fundamentalist, imperialistic, warmongering, Ariel Sharon-supporting, Arab Muslim-hating, repressive, homophobic, anti-choice, anti-immigrant, corporate-ruled, environmentally-destructive White House.
It is the time to fight not unite.
When I go swim laps every Monday and Wednesday night, I must scoot down the halls of our local middle school where American flags fly and large signs are posted that decree in red-white-and blue letters, "United we stand; divided we fall." It is all I can do to keep from tearing them down. Last week there were also student-made posters decrying cloning because "God is the only one allowed to create life." Now I'm not a fan of cloning, but it concerns me greatly when public schools in this country have religious messages posted in their halls. School prayer--as in Christian prayer--is not far behind.
Whatever happened to separation of church and state? Wasn't religious intolerance one of the main reasons the pilgrims left England? And didn't our founding fathers insist on an America where state and religion would be forever separate? During Bush's second term you can be sure that separation will be totally erased.
These are scary times, times when DISSENT is needed more than ever before. Believe me, George W. Bush is doing his level best to purge his government not only of dissenters but of questioners. In a George W. Bush-run world, no one questions their Leader-In-Chief. He is more infallible than the Pope. And, as we have seen, he refuses to reflect on past decisions or consider the possiblity that he and his people might have made any mistakes.
He reminds me the most immature of our four graders.
But just because the president of our country is immature doesn't mean we must be. No, we must be more mature and clear-headed than ever. We must escalate our efforts to mobilize community opposition to the abuses being wrought by our government and military leaders. Like we wish the German people had done under Hitler, we must be willing to put ourselves at risk of censure and arrest as we stand firm for the principles upon which our nation was built.
If 51% of the country's voters choose to keep their heads in the sand or even cheer on the dangerous tactics of their leader, let them. We 49% can make George W. Bush's second term a time of true democratic revolt if we work together with intentionality, using non-violent means to create change.
But first we need to apologize to our global sisters and brothers for our failure to turn this monster regime out of office on November 2. And that's where our inspired and inspiring young people come in.
A number of self-identified computer nerds have created a marvelous web site called "Sorry Everybody." On this site are an ever-growing number of digital photos sent in by ordinary Americans who want to offer their apologies to the world community for what happened here on November 2. The loving responses posted by women and men from across the globe is enough to bring tears to the eyes of even the most cynical among us.
Last night I stayed up until 3:30 AM looking at dozens and dozens of these photos. I even submitted one of my own. When you get to the home page of Sorry Everybody, simply click on the photo to enter the gallery, from there you'll have access to 1000s of photos. Click on whichever thumbnail photo you want to see in a larger format. If your response is anything like mine, the messages shared on this site will soothe your post-11/2 feelings, and help you see that you are not alone.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
A quiet Saturday
Just what I needed--a day with nothing on my calendar. I slept late, showered, and called Pat Kolon to invite her to come over for dinner and a video later in the day. Ed brought his Subway sandwich home for lunch so he could watch some of the Michigan-Ohio State football game on TV. I heated up a couple of pizza slices and joined him at the kitchen table. It's at times like this that I'm grateful Ed prefers to watch sports with the sound muted. He's not much of a sports-watcher anyway.
After Eddie went back to his office, I got on my scooter and took off toward the little strip mall a mile away. It was a mild day with hints of blue peeking through the soft gray clouds, a lovely day for a scoot. By now so many trees are bare that those still sporting colorful leaves look more beautiful than ever. I've never been very fond of November, but this year I find myself appreciating its place as a gentle bridge between autumn and winter.
When I got to the mall, I went right to the video store and found two videos I thought looked like nice light entertainment. For that was what I was after...entertainment. After attending three protest demos in one week, I'd had all the relevance I could handle for awhile. I also went to the bookstore and bought a novel by an East Indian writer I admire.
Soon after I'd returned home, Pat arrived. We caught up on one another's news, gave Eddie our orders by phone for Chinese carry-out for dinner, and went into the den to start watching one of the videos. Ed got home about 7:30 PM and we had a thoroughly enjoyable meal together. Pat has been our friend for so many years that she's like a member of the family. While I washed the dishes, Ed played the piano for us. Pat went home about 9 PM, Eddie went for his usual walk, and I started reading my new book.
As I say, this day was just what I needed.
After Eddie went back to his office, I got on my scooter and took off toward the little strip mall a mile away. It was a mild day with hints of blue peeking through the soft gray clouds, a lovely day for a scoot. By now so many trees are bare that those still sporting colorful leaves look more beautiful than ever. I've never been very fond of November, but this year I find myself appreciating its place as a gentle bridge between autumn and winter.
When I got to the mall, I went right to the video store and found two videos I thought looked like nice light entertainment. For that was what I was after...entertainment. After attending three protest demos in one week, I'd had all the relevance I could handle for awhile. I also went to the bookstore and bought a novel by an East Indian writer I admire.
Soon after I'd returned home, Pat arrived. We caught up on one another's news, gave Eddie our orders by phone for Chinese carry-out for dinner, and went into the den to start watching one of the videos. Ed got home about 7:30 PM and we had a thoroughly enjoyable meal together. Pat has been our friend for so many years that she's like a member of the family. While I washed the dishes, Ed played the piano for us. Pat went home about 9 PM, Eddie went for his usual walk, and I started reading my new book.
As I say, this day was just what I needed.
Friday, November 19, 2004
From pink to Pat to protest to party
Another big day. I left the house at 11 AM and didn't return home until 9:30 PM.
My first stop was Lessa's Hair Salon on the east side of Windsor, Ontario where I got my hair cut and pinked. I must admit I haven't been feeling particularly "in the pink" since the election, and had seriously considered not pinking my hair this time. But I decided that was all the more reason to brighten things up a bit. Besides, at school yesterday I'd let each class vote as to whether or not I should go pink again, and you can probably guess the result of that vote!
After Lessa's, I drove over to my friend Pat Noonan's apartment in the middle of Windsor, picked her up and we went to her favorite Pakistani restaurant for a leisurely lunch. Pat is one of my longtime activist friends so you can pretty much guess our topics of conversation. Needless to say, Canadians are as disturbed about the American election as are half of the voters over here.
By the time we'd finished, it was time for me to get back to the States for the MECAWI-sponsored protest demonstration against the war in Iraq, specifically against the seige of Falluja. I took the Windsor/Detroit Tunnel across the river and parked in a lot about three blocks away. Then I scooted down East Jefferson back toward the American entrance to the tunnel where our demo had just begun. It had rained off and on all day, and for the next hour and a half we stood (I sat) in a steady drizzle. I'd guess there were 100 of us lining East Jefferson, with a good range of ages and ethnicities. MECAWI (the Michigan Emergency Committee Against War in Iraq) has worked hard to diversify their membership, and judging from today's demo, they're doing a good job of it. There were three Raging Grannies there and we led the protesters in singing "Are You Sleeping, Uncle Sam?" It was fun to meet Granny Charlotte's granddaughters, Emily and Erica, who really seemed to get into it. And knowing our Windsor peace activist sisters and brothers were demonstrating across the river at the Windsor entrance to the tunnel helped us know we weren't alone. It also lifted our spirits to receive so many honks and thumbs-up from drivers with both Ontario and Michigan license plates. I don't think this is a very popular war.
I got back to my minivan about 5:45 PM feeling pretty cold and wet. My next event wasn't until 7 PM so I let myself dry out and warm up in Sojourner before starting off for the Library Supporters' party being put on by the Grosse Pointe library staff. If you're a regular reader, you'll remember the three months of library pickets and meetings I was part of this summer as we fought for a fair contract for our woefully underpaid library staff. Our efforts had met with success on September 15 and tonight the staff wanted to thank all their loyal supporters. There was a groaning buffet table full of delicious food, our picket signs propped around the perimeter of the room, and probably 80 people in attendance, most of whom I recognized. There were short speeches, special presentations and good conversation. It was such a lovely way to offer thanks.
My first stop was Lessa's Hair Salon on the east side of Windsor, Ontario where I got my hair cut and pinked. I must admit I haven't been feeling particularly "in the pink" since the election, and had seriously considered not pinking my hair this time. But I decided that was all the more reason to brighten things up a bit. Besides, at school yesterday I'd let each class vote as to whether or not I should go pink again, and you can probably guess the result of that vote!
After Lessa's, I drove over to my friend Pat Noonan's apartment in the middle of Windsor, picked her up and we went to her favorite Pakistani restaurant for a leisurely lunch. Pat is one of my longtime activist friends so you can pretty much guess our topics of conversation. Needless to say, Canadians are as disturbed about the American election as are half of the voters over here.
By the time we'd finished, it was time for me to get back to the States for the MECAWI-sponsored protest demonstration against the war in Iraq, specifically against the seige of Falluja. I took the Windsor/Detroit Tunnel across the river and parked in a lot about three blocks away. Then I scooted down East Jefferson back toward the American entrance to the tunnel where our demo had just begun. It had rained off and on all day, and for the next hour and a half we stood (I sat) in a steady drizzle. I'd guess there were 100 of us lining East Jefferson, with a good range of ages and ethnicities. MECAWI (the Michigan Emergency Committee Against War in Iraq) has worked hard to diversify their membership, and judging from today's demo, they're doing a good job of it. There were three Raging Grannies there and we led the protesters in singing "Are You Sleeping, Uncle Sam?" It was fun to meet Granny Charlotte's granddaughters, Emily and Erica, who really seemed to get into it. And knowing our Windsor peace activist sisters and brothers were demonstrating across the river at the Windsor entrance to the tunnel helped us know we weren't alone. It also lifted our spirits to receive so many honks and thumbs-up from drivers with both Ontario and Michigan license plates. I don't think this is a very popular war.
I got back to my minivan about 5:45 PM feeling pretty cold and wet. My next event wasn't until 7 PM so I let myself dry out and warm up in Sojourner before starting off for the Library Supporters' party being put on by the Grosse Pointe library staff. If you're a regular reader, you'll remember the three months of library pickets and meetings I was part of this summer as we fought for a fair contract for our woefully underpaid library staff. Our efforts had met with success on September 15 and tonight the staff wanted to thank all their loyal supporters. There was a groaning buffet table full of delicious food, our picket signs propped around the perimeter of the room, and probably 80 people in attendance, most of whom I recognized. There were short speeches, special presentations and good conversation. It was such a lovely way to offer thanks.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Recess activism
I don't know why I'm so sleepy, but I am. Yes, today was a school day, but not a busy one. I spent most of the day painting. In the three fourth grade classes we were visiting China, so we painted mountains, pagodas, bamboo and evergreen trees in sumi-like strokes using black paint on manilla paper. Then the first graders continued painting using tempera paint over large abstract crayon drawings we'd done to classical music a few weeks ago. I really got into that! The two fifth grade classes were working on a project that my hands can't manage very well, so in one of the classes I finished my first grade painting and in the other I colored an intricate printed design with markers.
I have no special stories to share from today, but there is one from last week. When the last class of the day came to art on Thursday they were all upset because the school principal had disciplined the entire fifth grade as a result of something that had happened at recess that day. I didn't hear any details beyond the fact that all fifth grade classes were to be barred from recess for the rest of the year. The kids were outraged. One of the older students took control and in his deep voice called out, "Let's go on strike! How do you spell recess?"
I have no special stories to share from today, but there is one from last week. When the last class of the day came to art on Thursday they were all upset because the school principal had disciplined the entire fifth grade as a result of something that had happened at recess that day. I didn't hear any details beyond the fact that all fifth grade classes were to be barred from recess for the rest of the year. The kids were outraged. One of the older students took control and in his deep voice called out, "Let's go on strike! How do you spell recess?"